Like the Morning Fog

I had an especially good time today. I spent the afternoon with my mother-in-law. She went for a check-up at the cancer treatment center, then we stopped at Sonic for a treat, and drove next door to Sam's for some shopping. It's not like anything life shattering happened, but she and I always appreciate the specialness of our time together.

I have several people in my life that I feel like I could never live without. They are husband Craig, my papa Virgil, my daughter Emilie, and my mother-in-law Harmmean. Even the thought of losing them in death one day sends me into a full panic. Yet I know that none of us are on this planet forever, and the day probably will come when at least one of them will leave this earth before I do. I'm pretty certain about why I feel this way about my dad and Craig, and of course Emilie, but my mother-in-law? Well, she and I are very bonded as well.

Granted, Harmmean is a very special person and it is easy to love her. But our bond goes past mother-in-law/daughter-in-law. She is a very dear friend of mine, and when she passes I will miss talking to her on the phone everyday, bossing her around when she doesn't listen to our "expert" medical advice, and spending days together, just like we did today, which we have done many, many times. It is such a blessing to have a dear friend like her in my life.

But I know that, as the days continue on, one day they will be no more. I have found this to be true as I now have seen my Uncle Stan, Aunt Joyce, Uncle Rueben, and Uncle Bob leave us. So tough to believe they are no longer with us anymore. I am praying so hard for my Uncle Don now as well, as he faces some tough medical issues. As I talk about the loss of my aunt and uncles with others, I often hear a lack-luster response like, "It won't get any better either!" Not what I want to hear. :(

Many times in the Bible God talks about the length of our lives. We were never made to be immortal on earth, but are instead like the morning fog that appears for a little while, then is gone. Man is like a mere breath; His days are like a passing shadow. Why is this so difficult for me to face?

I have always said that there are far worse things to happen to a Christian than to die. I believe this totally. I am praying for the strength to remember that, when my loved ones pass from this earth, I will be able to face it by clinging to the promise of the Resurrection as well as the knowledge that we are but visitors on this planet and citizens of heaven. Lord, please hear my plea. Break through my stubborn will and open it to your will in all my life. Even when my tears fall and my heart breaks, which I know will happen.